![]() ![]() My thing in life was not to believe to ask the questions and find the answers myself. I can look at those same questions from childhood and ask questions about who I was as a or why we end up believing certain things based on what's told to us. I think, "What makes me different? What is being Chinese?" I would look at my leg: "Is this a Chinese leg?" "If I eat too much Chinese food, will I become more Chinese?" Those are the early questions that have a lot to do with identity. Or if somebody called me a racist name, and I'm 6 years old and they say I'm a chink, or worse. Although, I might say, "Who is this God? And what does he think of me? And why does he think that?" I would ask myself, "Why am I being treated this way? What did I do? If I intended to be good, but I'm perceived as bad, why is that?" He was a minister and he questioned himself: "Am I being good enough?" I didn't question myself in quite that way. I thought it was normal for everybody to question.Īnd perhaps it came from my father a bit. I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't question things. You're always starving for some kind of answer, but it really started in childhood. What does that mean?Īmy Tan: Neediness is always there. In your book, you said that you felt compelled by a subconscious neediness. ![]()
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